The Quiet Quitting Work Trend Now Applies To Relationships?
This article is more than 2 years old
Quiet quitting in the workplace refers to only doing the tasks listed in your job description. Anything more is considered too much and completely unnecessary. Although this concept remains a popular way to stave off burnout and deal with low job satisfaction, it may be happening in personal relationships too. Also known as quiet dumping, the trend refers to making less effort and essentially becoming a bystander in romantic relationships.
The trend can be traced to TikTok user Daniel Hentschel. In a satirical video, the comedy creator says quiet quitting in a relationship is when your partner does the bare minimum to maintain the relationship to avoid a breakup. “They’ve totally lost interest, but they don’t want to be the one to break it off,” he says in the clip. “They are showing up every day, but they’re not really showing up.”
The video resonated with several viewers who shared their experiences in the comments. Other creators added their own videos discussing quiet quitting in a relationship. According to Glamour UK, the term reached over 52 million views on TikTok. It’s also worth noting that unlike ghosting, where one person suddenly stops communicating and disappears, quiet quitting is the act of “leaving without leaving.”
The reasons for someone quiet quitting their relationship might not be obvious at first, but its effect on their partner can be painful. Speaking to Vice, psychiatrist Era Dutta said it can feel like living with their ghost or a disinterested roommate. Unable to derive any joy from being together, the couple just exists in the same space for the sake of it. “If you’re in an unfulfilling relationship and have been quietly dumped, you will question yourself and wonder who is to blame,” she told the publication.
Being on the receiving end of this behavior stifles personal growth and adversely affects a person’s mental health. There needs to be acceptance and growth for any relationship to last, psychotherapist and psychiatrist Nahid Dave told Vice. During the initial stages of a romantic relationship, dopamine kicks in whenever the couple is together. But eventually, things start to hit a plateau.
That’s when people start to feel bored or detached and choose to start quiet quitting. Dave also explained that in our digital world, where just video calls and texting have replaced the need to be physically present, it’s even more difficult to know when someone is doing the bare minimum. Unfortunately, if someone feels like they’re being quiet dumped, there isn’t really anything one can do about it. The relationship may have just come to a natural end.
The best one can do, according to relationship expert and founder of the Wingman dating app, Tina Wilson, is to try and have an honest conversation with your quiet quitting partner. “See if anything is bothering them or on their mind,” she told Glamour UK. She also said the situation must be approached in a mature manner for things to (perhaps) be worked out.
“If they don’t take your concerns on board and are not prepared to fix the relationship then you know where you stand,” Wilson added about quiet quitting in relationships. The couple needs to be prepared to work on things and spend dedicated, quality time together talking freely about their feelings.
